Seeking Asylum at the Kids’ Table

20 09 2010

Adulthood isn’t easy. Even having fun is harder and there are a lot more things that are not fun at all that you have to deal with. The past couple of years have highlighted to an astonishing degree my failings in the adulthood department, but I doubt that some things get easier as one ages and the catalyst for this post is one of them.

My friend from college has cancer and she’s twenty-five-years-old.

For me, it’s enough of a surreal experience watching my friends and cousins who are my age getting married. Here I am unable to commit to anything and they’re all pledging to spend their lives with this one special person. And don’t even get me started on what a mind trip my friends having babies is. That’s all mind-boggling to me but finding out someone who graduated college with me, drank Guinness in the dorm with me, rocked out to old school music (like the Clash) with me, and someone whose marriage I was toasting a little over a year ago is now on chemo and battling a deadly decease just doesn’t compute. That stuff happens to other people – older, other people. She’s too young for that. I found out a few days ago and I still can’t absorb it. I went to my uncle’s 50th birthday party and I feel bad because my brain was miles away. It’s a wonder no one asked my mother if I was on drugs or something equally mind altering. Frankly, I’m shocked that the cupcakes came out as good as they did.

That’s it. This is how it is. This is adult life where pixie dust and wishes made on birthday candles have no effect on problems and there are few completely happy endings. I should deal with things like an adult – but I’m not very good at that, so I wrote a blog post about it. All I can do is hope that she recovers fully and quickly, but it doesn’t seem fair.